New program has launched!

On Tuesday, we took BART to a park where we played games, made and ate lunch, developed group expectations and students got their novels and binders. Our goals were for students to know each other's names by the end of the day, to find something they had in common with someone else, and to have an idea and (perhaps foggy) picture of what the trimester has in store (oh, and to have fun). I think those missions were basically accomplished, though some students were somewhat resistent to some of them. Basically, though, the students were patient and good humored considering that things did not go as smoothly as I had hoped.

Today, we walked the students to a nearby park and then sent them out walking around observing the neighborhood. We regathered, discussed what they saw, and generated questions from their observations. Then we walked to the Oakland Museum of California where we tried to have another conversation in the gardens but were wildly outshouted by a million little kids also on fieldtrips today. After a break for lunch (in the museum gardens), students regathered for the intro to the science lesson. A scavenger hunt in the natural sciences gallery was finished quickly and students were given a chance to explore the other galleries. The day was over at 3:00.

What I'm learning from this program: team-teaching (co-teaching) is much more challenging for me than collaborating on ideas and curriculum. I am comfortable being in charge and not being in charge, but being in co-charge is weird, especially when all the teachers have different styles, somewhat different teaching philosophies, etc. Lots for me to process.

I generally think of myself as a positive person, but I am realizing that I am less easily satisfied than many others. I think my co teachers all felt pleased with the outcomes and I was a little disappointed. I reckon my expectations & hopes were higher, and therefore less likely to be fulfilled. Are people with lower expectations generally happier? I think maybe they are, but it seems slightly unethical--like cosmetic surgery or something--to purposely alter something so fundamental about oneself as one's instinct for high hopes.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

did you ever wonder whether lower expectations were actually 'realistic' expectations and that for some people achieving small things is some times huge - you impose your notion of 'ethical' (for some people perhaps cosmetic surgery is the last means to an end) to to value peoples hopes. wow - what about the fact these people are happy because they achieved something - without some construct of lesser or more.

Catalin said...

Anonymous--you completely misunderstood what I said. I was not judging anybody but myself! Yes, I absolutely think that having "high expectations" sometimes means having unrealistic ones; that's why I was wondering whether I should try to "lower" my expectations. My quandary is whether "lowering" (and I use scare-quotes because perhaps it would be more accurate to say "changing") my expectations would be somehow being untrue to myself.

The question is whether being a perfectionist or a person with unrealistically optimistic hopes is a fundamental part of who I am. If it is, how do I feel about changing it? I said that it felt slightly unethical to me, as cosmetic surgery would feel to me.

I said nothing about 'achieving something small' because of course one can never say whether an achievement is big or small for someone else.

My reflection was inspired by my own disappointment in myself for being slightly disappointed by the outcome of the events that I helped organize! I felt torn between wishing I were satisfied with the results of my efforts and yet feeling that it's not bad to be driven forward by a dream that might be unreachable.

Anonymous said...

"I reckon my expectations & hopes were higher, and therefore less likely to be fulfilled. Are people with lower expectations generally happier? I think maybe they are, but it seems slightly unethical"

self-reflection? really? lower expectations than whom or what ? and that is unethical. Perhaps this is a case where public forums and private forums (for self-reflection) become blurred.

Catalin said...

Dear anonymous,
You haven't identified yourself and I do not recognize you as one of my friends or family members for whom I write this blog.

I'm not sure how you found it, nor why you chose to respond to this posting, which seems to have really rankled you.

If you are in fact someone who knows me, I encourage you to identify yourself. I allow anonymous posting because some of my family members and friends did not know how to get a blogger identity. However, they generally identify themselves within the text of their comments.

Peace,
Catalin